(Working Title: How to Run Without Looking Like You’re About to Collapse in a Car Park)
Running is simple. You put one foot in front of the other, repeat until sweaty, then wonder why you ever thought this was a good idea.
But here’s the thing: running badly is also very simple! If you’re huffing, puffing, and flailing your arms like a drunk T-Rex, congratulations! You’re making running 10 times harder than it needs to be.
So, let’s fix that. Here’s how to run properly, breathe like a functional human, and actually build endurance without feeling like death warmed up.
Running Form: Because Looking Like Your Dying Painful Death Isn’t a Good Strategy
Bad running form is like bad dancing. It feels right in your head, but everyone watching is deeply concerned.
🚨 Quick Fixes for Not Looking Like a Disaster:
✔ Posture Matters: Stand tall, shoulders relaxed. You’re running, not auditioning to be Quasimodo.
✔ Arm Swing: Keep arms at 90 degrees, swinging naturally. No flapping. You’re not trying to take off.
✔ Foot Strike: Aim for a midfoot strike. Heel-striking is a one-way ticket to Knee Pain Central.
✔ Relax Your Face: If you look like you’re trying to solve algebra mid-run, loosen up. No one wins races with a clenched jaw.
Breathing Techniques: How to Stop Sounding Like an Asthmatic Walrus
The goal here is to breathe efficiently, not like you’ve just discovered oxygen for the first time.
😵 Bad breathing sounds like:
- Wheezing, panting, or the soundtrack of a horror movie.
- Short, shallow breaths that make your lungs feel like they’re on strike.
😌 Good breathing sounds like:
- Deep inhales through the nose, controlled exhales through the mouth.
- Smooth, rhythmic breathing that doesn’t make strangers look at you with concern.
📌 Best Tip: Try the 2:2 breathing rhythm: inhale for two steps, exhale for two. If you’re gasping every step, slow down before you pass out and become a road hazard.
Easy Runs vs. Speed Work: Because Not Every Run Should Feel Like a Near-Death Experience
A common mistake? Running every session at full speed like you’re being chased by debt collectors.
🟢 Easy Runs (Aka: Not Every Run Has to Feel Like War)
- Pace: Slow enough to hold a conversation. If you can sing a full song? Too slow. If you can’t talk at all? Too fast.
- Purpose: Builds endurance without exhausting you. Basically, the foundation of all good training.
🔴 Speed Work (Aka: Let’s Make This Hurt a Little)
- Intervals: Sprint for 30 seconds, jog for 90. Repeat. Cry later.
- Tempo Runs: A fast but controlled pace. Not a sprint, but not a Sunday stroll either.
- Hill Sprints: Run up a hill, question your life choices, jog back down, repeat.
💡 Pro Tip: Speed work makes you faster. Easy runs keep you sane. Balance both unless you enjoy injuries.
How to Gradually Build Mileage (Without Dying or Hating Your Life)
If you double your mileage overnight, you’re not “committed”, you’re just begging for an injury.
📈 Follow the 10% Rule:
- Increase your weekly mileage by no more than 10% per week. Any faster and your knees will form an angry mob.
🗓 Break Up Your Runs:
- 3-4 runs per week is ideal. Running every day? That’s just masochism.
- Long run = 30-40% of your weekly total. If you do all your mileage in one run, congratulations, you’ve invented a terrible plan.
🚑 Listen to Your Body:
- A little soreness? Normal.
- Pain that makes you walk like a penguin the next day? Not normal.
- If something really hurts, rest, don’t push through. There are no medals for running yourself into an injury.
Final Thought: Running Feels Shite… Until It Doesn’t
At first, every run feels like a mistake. But give it time. With better form, smarter breathing, and proper pacing, you’ll stop feeling like you’re dying and start feeling… unstoppable.
(Okay, slightly less miserable. But still. Progress.)
See you next Monday for "The Importance of Strength & Cross-Training", or as I like to call it, "Why Lifting Weights Will Stop You Running Like a Fragile Stick Insect."